I confided in a friend once that, after 15 years of marriage, the institution and the relationship itself continued to mystify me. It promised to expand my circle of family and improve my credit score, to tether me to something wholesome and give my life meaning.
Could any single relationship not fall short of such expectations? Sometimes I wonder if when the kids leave I should either a have a passionate affair or b find another husband.
I may do neither, but it seems like a is more likely than b. Already a subscriber? Log in or link your magazine subscription. Account Profile. Sign Out. Sex has always been a powerful form of control. Tags: top story self sex cheating infidelity love and war marriage relationships esther perel married women More. Most Viewed Stories. Give us a little more information and we'll give you a lot more relevant content.
Your child's birthday or due date. Girl Boy Other Not Sure. Add A Child. Something went wrong. Please contact support fatherly. Like fatherly on Facebook. Something went wrong please contact us at support fatherly. By Jeremy Brown.
We didn't even cuddle But he respected me more than my husband did. So yes, I cheated on my husband. But I never cheated on the man that I married. I cheated on my abuser. I cheated on my tormenter. It wasn't planned, it wasn't thought out, it just happened. He's been overseas with his military contracting company for nine months now. I've missed him horribly. I'm in a town basically on my own without any family or any close friends I can really connect with.
It's been alienating and isolating and has been torture at times. He noticed a sticker on my laptop that was of a band I was sure no one had ever heard of. Turned out he had, and after a whirlwind of a few hours, I found myself at his house that evening where I did it. I thought at first this guy would just be a friend I could share music recommendations from, but in an instant of a moment my isolation turned to selfish physical need.
I bumped into a former work colleague who was out with her fella and some of their friends. We chatted and after a while, they invited me back to their hotel room. I knew what was going to happen but I went along with it anyway.
I ended up having sex with both of them. It was mind-blowing at the time but I felt ashamed and disgusted with myself afterward. I don't know why I did it, I just went along with it.
Meet the Expert. The question still remains: Why do women cheat? Read on for 12 common reasons, plus expert insight from Skurtu and psychologist Joel Block. This can be seen as the underlying theme of the majority of motivations for infidelity. Dissatisfaction, explains Skurtu, is where it starts. It's completely innocent. For every relationship boundary crossed, the person has to justify their behavior to themselves first, then they are able to compartmentalize the actions.
Not finding satisfaction in a current relationship can trigger someone to seek that satisfaction elsewhere or even use the act of cheating whether consciously or unconsciously as a catalyst to end their current relationship.
Be as honest as possible if confronting a partner or being confronted about infidelity. When a woman is struggling with low self-worth, it may spur them to look to external sources for the attention and validation that they and their partner are unable to create and sustain.
A woman who cheats may rely on affairs to provide them with proof of their value or desirability. When one fling ends, it may cause them to feel neglected or worthless, so they pursue a new romantic interest—and the cycle continues. While studies suggest that men who cheat are primarily motivated by sex, women who cheat tend to do so to fill an emotional need. And in the case of an emotional affair , sex isn't part of the equation at all.
Whether the affair is physical or emotional in nature, a woman may cheat because they crave conversation, empathy, respect, devotion, adoration, support, or some other connection that's lacking in their current relationship. However, most sexual ones start emotional," says Skurtu "I find it pretty rare to have an only sexual affair without some emotions because they usually start as friends.
That's how you start crossing boundaries and justify the behavior. Some women enter into a relationship with an idealized image of how their spouse should behave. When the partner falls short of expectations and can't meet their every need and desire, it can create a divide in the relationship that provides the impetus to stray.
Some women may resent their partner for another reason, such as a partner's past affair, and use their own infidelity as retaliation. You've likely heard of the term serial cheaters—people who cheat for the thrill of it. They may love their S. It's addressing the same thing: boredom. I feel people are more likely to cheat than to get involved in crimes, but it's the same premise. In fact, a study at the affair dating website AshleyMadison.
Try as we might to keep the spark alive , the excitement that accompanies a new relationship only lasts so long. Predictability and familiarity will eventually overtake the quality and frequency of sex. It's not surprising, then, that some women who cheat are missing those thrilling hallmarks of a relationship's beginning stages, when passion and intrigue have yet to give way to routine.
0コメント